He Loves Me He Loves Me Not: Fear Part Two

Every one of us can name our fears. We know what scares us. I am afraid of disappointing people, of letting others down. Some of us are afraid of getting sick. Some of us are haunted by being alone. Some of us have nightmares of finding out the truth so we live a lie. We are afraid of death. We are afraid of living. From a religious perspective we are afraid of displeasing God. We are afraid of failure. We are afraid of being made a fool. We are afraid of losing all we have worked so hard to get. We are afraid we have not done enough. Afraid of being found out that I am not who I really say I am.
One time I went to a church to preach. I had never been there so no one knew me. I walked around talking to the folks introducing myself only by my first name. I sat down beside this one woman. Introduced myself and we talked. She poured out her life story. She talked about how sorry her husband was, how rebellious her children were, and how boring she found her job. Later in the evening, the minister introduced me and the woman felt embarrassed that she had just told her miserable existence to the preacher. Here she was a leader in the church thinking she is telling this to some visitor and it turns out to be the guest preacher. When you are the “guest preacher” or “preacher” in general it changes the dynamics. Because this person represents God we cannot be real. We must put on a front, be something that we are really not, we must act as though I have it together and that nothing in life scares me. When we do this and we all do, it reveals more about our understanding of God than most of us realize. We believe that God cannot handle the real me. We are afraid of what God may think. The underlining truth about fear is that fear is the belief that God is unable or unwilling. When we fear something or someone we are stating that God is unable to handle the situation or the person. We cannot love what we fear. As long as fear remains in our lives we will never love life or others the way God intended.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: Fear

Most of us go through life plucking petals from daisies. With every situation we ask ourselves does God love me or have I done something to disapprove of his love. We don’t do it intentionally because we have been taught that God’s love is infinite and never changing but yet we cannot help to react this way because we find this is how life works. We have discovered what pleases people and we either do it so we can be loved or we do not do it so we can get the attention we may be lacking. We grew up knowing what pleased our parents and if we wanted to go to a friend’s house on the weekend we did what pleased our parents. We know what pleases the boss and to get a pay check we do it. We get a reaction from our parents as a child that we didn’t expect and we say, “Do they love me?” We get a reaction from our spouse and we ask the same thing. We go through life playing this game: He loves me. He loves me not.

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve have sinned by disobeying God’s command. When God seeks them out for their daily walk we find them hiding. The bible gives the reason for their hiding – they are afraid. And we have been afraid ever since. Afraid of God and of life.

I grew up on a dirt road and you know what people do on dirt roads? They dump their unwanted pets on dirt roads. We would always come across an abandoned cat or dog. We took in a few dogs. Remember me saying, “We cannot love what we fear.” Well that was the relationship I had with cats. I didn’t fully trust a cat so, well you know. A dog though, especially a puppy, I would feel sorry for. Have you ever tried to win the trust of an abandoned puppy? A puppy that was malnourished, abused, and abandoned. You get down eye level with it. So it can see you. The puppy tries to decide whether I’m safe or not. She makes a few steps forward, then thinks better and turns her head away as if to break the spell about to overcome her. On those occasions I would love to rush in, scoop her off her feet and convince her how safe she is, but if I so much as lean forward , she runs off further into the darkness. This little puppy has no idea what awaits her if she can overcome her fear.

In John 14: 2- 3, Jesus says, “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” When we read this passage we normally think of what? Heaven. But Jesus is still talking about his first coming – his death on the cross; and his second coming back – the resurrection. The cross stands as the event that opens the door for us to dwell in God’s love. Like David, Jesus is saying, “we can live constantly in God’s presence.” To be in the place that Jesus speaks of is not necessarily a place, heaven is a place we will one day experience, but it is a reality. It is a life without fear, a life of trust.

The puppy just outside my reach has no idea what awaits her is she can overcome her fear. All the food, love, nurture, and assurance of life that she needs I can offer if she can just turn her focus from her fear. The same holds true for us. We can fear less and trust more by focusing on God’s love for us – a love that is unchanging.

How to Handle a Critic

Perry Noble on his blog (www.perrynoble.com) has an interesting entry for leaders.I share it here.

Four Ways To Deal With A Critic July 15, 2009
Before I share the four ways let me be VERY clear on who a critic is…

A critic is NOT someone who approaches you and has a sincere love for you and a genuine concern for the ministry. These people should always be listened to and appreciated.

A critic is NOT someone who has a question about something and is merely seeking information and/or clarification for the purpose of fully understanding and embracing the vision of the ministry.

A critic is NOT someone who comes to you one on one with a spirit of humility and grace.
A critic is…

■Someone who does not know you but feels the need to judge everything you say and do…they will criticize where you eat, the clothes you wear, the number of times you fart and anything else they can think of.
■Someone who asks questions…but doesn’t actually want to know the answer…but rather are merely seeking information for the purpose of division.
■Someone who is always pointing out what others are doing wrong…but never acknowledges their own shortcomings. (Jesus said it will not go well for these people…Matthew 7:1-2)
Remember…insanity is actually thinking you can explain yourself to those who don’t know you and don’t like you! So…saying that, here are four ways you can deal with a critic…

#1 – Ignore Them

#2 – Ignore Them

#3 – Ignore Them

#4 – Ignore Them

I once heard a pastor say, “We spend way too much time wrestling with church people and not with God!” DANG!

There are some battles that you are NEVER going to win…and to fight with a person who wants to do nothing but accuse you is fruitless! (Just a thought here – the name “satan” means accuser. Now…if someone is obsessed with the “wrongs” that you are doing and always feel the need to throw those wrongs in your face…would that make them more like Jesus or more like satan? Hmmmm)

I learned this lesson a long time ago…I don’t visit their websites (very few people actually do), I don’t respond to them on twitter and I don’t read their anonymous letters…Craig Groeschel once said that the quickest way to forget what God thinks about me is to obsess with what others think about me.

NOW…there are instances where Jesus dealt with these people…but it was never an explanation but rather a barrage of questions and/or a VERY sharp rebuke (Matthew 23) This type of response should always be prayed through and thought out! There will be times that these steps need to be considered, discussed and acted upon…

BUT…99% of the time…just repeat steps 1-4! :-)

More than Disobedience

Many of us will come to a place in our life and we recognize that we have made an idol out of this drug, alcohol, relationship, technology and we vow to change. We recognize our disobedience and make a promise never to do it again. We say we will never fall victim to that idol again. We will try harder next time. We will focus more intently. We will change. Mark Twain said about resolutions: “Now is the time to make your annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” The point is no matter how many promises we make for another chance, another opportunitiy, another time we still fail. As long as we think disobedience is the issue we will continue to be careless with our lives. Disobedience is the symptom to a bigger problem. It is impossible to change our ways without an inner change. Idolatry is a heart issue. The heart is the seat of idolatry. That was Israel’s problem. It wasn’t the disobedience that God was upset about. It was the idolatry. Idolatry leads to disobedience. Idolatry is a lack of trust in God. We turn to these other things or people to satisfy us when only God can satisfy. When we allow our heart to cling to something or someone other than God than we say to God you are not what I need. We were made for God so when we rely on something or someone else for ultimate security it is sin.

I Believe

What does it mean to say, “I believe?” It is one thing to say I believe that John Smoltz is a great pitcher. I am making a statement that has no relevance on how I live my life – unless I am a fanatical fan! There is another, deeper level at which one may say, “I believe in . . .” At this level, belief is closer to trust. When my son jumps off a ledge into my arms, he is saying that he is willing to jump because he “believes in” me as his father.
All of us live by a creed of some sort. At some level we all move beyond believing that something is true to believing in something or someone. Developing a creed is an important aspect of life. Life for many people is a daily grind of endless monotony. We earn for a sense of purpose. We want to know that our struggles have reason. As a result we can view life as a journey for something to believe in. We are looking for a creed. Henry David Thoreau once suggested that the difference among us may well be that we march to a different set of drums. Thoreau was saying that at the center of every life, there is a rhythm that determines its pace. Change the rhythm and the pace will change. The result is that if you can establish what a person believes you can foresee that person’s behavior.
When I say the word, “God,” what comes to mind? The answer to that question could possibly reveal more about whom you are and how you act than you really know. A. W. Tozer says, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” Most Americans believe in God, even if we cannot agree on what kind of God we believe in. Scripture reveals that God has created us and that He cares for us. We are told that God rules over our body, mind, and soul. As our Creator God is the one who provides the food and shelter. As our heavenly Father we can trust that he will keep us from evil and provide abundantly for all the needs of our lives. If we truly held to this belief about God how would our lives be different? Would we trust him more and complain less? Would we stop trying to play God and let God be God in our life? Would we be quicker to forgive and slower to get angry? Would we risk more because we know we are secure in His love? Would we pray more and pout less? Would we enjoy what we already have, knowing that if we truly needed something else, our Father in heaven would give it to us.
We live by what we believe ourselves to be. Each person needs to make a decision. A huge crowd was watching the famous tightrope walker, Blondin, cross Niagara Falls one day in 1860. He crossed it numerous times – a 1,000-foot trip 160 feet above the raging waters. He not only walked across it; he pushed a wheelbarrow across it. One little boy just stared in amazement. So after completing a crossing the fellow looked at the little boy and said, “Do you believe I could take a person across in the wheelbarrow without falling?” “Yes, sir. I really do.” The fellow says, “Well, then, get in, son.”

That's Not Fair

I grew up with two younger brothers. We were always getting into things that we shouldn’t. If one of us did something wrong, we all took the wrap for it. My mom would say, “Boys, get in here.” She would proceed to line us up and we would all get a couple lashes to the bottom. If we would questions her as to why she whipped us all for the mess up of one, she would say, “Because I’m sure you need it so I ‘m just going to get it out of the way.” She was probably right. It seemed that even though I or one of my brothers did not commit the crime we usually had a hand in encouraging, enticing, or persuading the other one to do the dirty deed. Regardless, one of us would always say when we were about to get whipped, “That’s not fair.”
Amos is the earliest of Israel’s prophets from whom we have a book of writings. The name Amos means “burden bearer,” and it fits, for Amos carries the burden of being the bearer of bad news. Nobody likes to hear about evil and injustice, especially when times are good. For the people of God during the time of Amos, life was good. He comes on the scene during one of the most prosperous periods of Jewish history. Israel is free of enemies; the economy is sound; society is stable. But Amos can’t help but see that within this outward peace there is a rottenness that is creeping into society. He sees cheating in business, the court system is corrupt, the poor are neglected, and religion has grown shallow and meaningless. The people have become self-indulgent and selfish.
Tormented by this, Amos, a farmer in overalls, cries out. Through the prophet Amos, God is saying that if we neglect the issues of justice and righteousness then even our best worship and gifts are unacceptable to Him. For Amos, God is a God that deals with justice. God is angered when those in power take advantage of those who do not have power. God despises the abuse of power because those in authority have been given responsibility of making sure that justice is done. God does not accept our sacrifices if the hands that give those sacrifices are stained with the blood of others. We cannot work for justice and live in injustice.
There is this great moment in the life of Mother Teresa when a wealthy woman from the United States find Mother Teresa, whips out her checkbook, and says, “I want to write you a check to support your work.” Mother Teresa looks up, shakes her head and says “No money.” “What?” “No Money. “You don’t want to take my money?” I have a lot of money, this money can help you.” “No money.” “No money! Well, then what can I do?” Mother Teresa smiled, took her by the hand, and said, “Come and see.” She led this woman deep into the heart of Calcutta, until she finally came upon a small, grimy child. Mother Teresa said, “Take care of her.” And so the woman took a cloth, and bathed the little girl, took a spoon and fed her. And she reported later that her life was changed. Mother Teresa once said, “You don’t have to go to Calcutta to share in my work. Calcutta is wherever you are. Where you are, there are people who hurt, who need love.” Come and see. Touch someone. Love them.

Resolutions

This time of year many people will lay out a new set of resolutions, covenants, and goals. We use the new year as an opportunity for a new beginning. We look back over the past year and tell ourselves we will not make those same mistakes again. We commit to quit smoking, exercise more, or to stay more focused. We promise to love more and hate less. Mark Twain said about resolutions: “Now is the time to make your annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”.” The point is no matter how many promises we make for another chance, another opportunity, another time we still fail. As long as we think disobedience is the issue we will continue to be careless with our lives. Disobedience is the symptom to a bigger problem.
Many of us will come to a place in our life and we recognize that we have made an idol out of this drug, alcohol, relationship, technology and we vow to change. We recognize our disobedience and make a promise never to do it again. We say we will never fall victim to that idol again. We will try harder next time. We will focus more intently. We will change.
Disobedience is the symptom to a bigger problem. It is impossible to change our ways without an inner change. Idolatry is a heart issue. The heart is the seat of idolatry. That was Israel’s problem. It was’t the disobedience that God was upset about. It was the idolatry. Idolatry leads to disobedience. Idolatry is a lack of trust in God. We turn to these other things or people to satisfy us when only God can satisfy. When we allow our heart to cling to something or someone other than God than we say to God you are not what I need. We were made for God so when we rely on something or someone else for ultimate security it is sin.
We can try to change our behavior but we cannot change our heart. Only God can give us a new heart. If idolatry is our problem and it is a problem for everybody, God has to intervene. The Israelites tried hard to change their behavior and then they would fall back into sin. God sent the Israelites a prophet who promised: “I will give them a new heart, and put a new spirit within them; I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 11: 19). We need a heart transplant and that is what God has come to give us in Jesus Christ.