How do we develop intimacy in marriage? First, talk about your weaknesses. Don’t be afraid to share with your partner what frightens you. Be honest. Don’t coward behind a false strength. Second, offer your strength. Be willing to fight for the other person. Be willing to sacrifice. Stand up. Three, view marriage as an adventure. Marriage ought to be a daring adventure or it is nothing. It should be an adventure in growth and in change, in breaking out of the familiar and into the excitement of doing new things together, and discovering new life.
A lot of men view marriage like a hunting trip – after the wedding the adventure is over. The deer has been mounted. A lot of women view marriage like fishing. The fish caught out of the large pool has been transplanted into the fish bowl.
I tell couples when they come in for pre-marital counseling that they are given the responsibility for one simple thing in marriage. Marriage is an adventure of helping the other person be all that God intends for them to be. What if we all had that vision of marriage? Our roles is to partner with God in bringing the people in my life into a relationship with God and to serve Him the way that He intended. Repeat this with me: I will offer my strength to the person I love. I will offer my strength to the person I love. How will you do that? Take a moment and write out the ways you will begin to offer your strength to the person you love? Do it together and both of you can experience an intimacy in marriage that you did not know existed.
Intimacy is a journey. It will be a destination you will never reach. It puts the adventure into marriage and relationships. So go ahead start the journey. Offer your strength. Be adventurous. That is God’s way for relationships.
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